Tag Archives: Love

Friends–how many of us have them?

4 Nov

One of my besties doing my makeup on my wedding day

I have started a new chapter in my life.  I recently launched my new eMagazine (YAY ME!!).  I got my twinsie’s potty trained (YAY one step closer to school).  And sweetness and I have started writing her book (Junie Beatrice Jones has nothing on my first grader).

For the past three years I have dedicated my life and soul to my kids.  A very drastic change for me.  I was always a free-spirit.  The life of the party.  The social butterfly.  The “it” girl.  But when I got married, had the twins and moved into a house, I thought the “right” thing for me to do was to take care of my family in a domestic sort of way.  Problem is, domestic just isn’t me.  I can only make meatloaf; I wash-dry-but don’t fold laundry and I don’t make my bed everyday.

While I love being home with my kids, how appropriate is it that I read Cosmo’s “5 bedroom tricks that will make his toes curl” while my kids are in the bath tub??  To add insult to injury I knew I had to do something when sweetness asked if I needed some more mommy juice (wine)–I may not have high standards, but a 6-year-old bartender is where I draw the line…she should at least be 10.

So I branched out.  Connected with a circle of friends.  All sassy and unique in their own ways, but all offering me with what I so desperately needed in my life.  Intellectual stimulation with some divalicious girlie-girl sprinkled on top.  As I sit back and think of all the phenomenal women in my life I know they were all sent to me for a reason.

I have married friends and all we do is talk about our single friends (just kidding!!).  I have single friends and they keep me young, fun and hip.  I have academic friends who keep that JD and Ph.D dream in the forefront of my mind.  I have SAHM friends who know me as the meatloaf diva.  She also knows all the Nick Jr. theme songs and whenever she’s feeling gloomy you just tell her “everybody makes mistake, everybody has bad days” and it actually cheers her up.

Though I may not speak with all of these ladies regularly (we need to do better ladies!!), they each have a special place in my heart.  It’s the text that says ‘hey just thinking about you’ , or the FB message that simply says ‘Aonya Monique’ , or the IM that says “martini’s. tonight. 8 sharp!”, I’m just so happy to have them in my life!

So to Ashley, Tamara, Angela, Kenya, LaShona, Heidi, Maya, Felicia, Brittany, Whitney, Christa, Janel, Tina, Moniqueka–So grateful to have you all in my life! We’ve laughed, cried and some of us have gotten belligerently drunk together…and at the end of the day I cherish you! My sistah friends!

The Things Men Do

30 Aug

Men are loving, caring, funny and sweet.  And while us women love them with all our hearts, their foolish and shocking antics leave us with lots to talk about.  It’s never a dull moment when a man is around, and we can’t help but to sit back and laugh, roll our eyes, shake our heads or drop our jaws at  their crazy occurrences of ridiculousness.

  • Picks his toes, flicks it and measures the velocity of the flick…and to top it off, he’ll most likely smell the toe debris before throwing it behind the couch in the trash.
  • Stays up til 2 am to watch The Godfather when he knows he has to be at work at 8am.
  • Takes you on a “date” to  an all-in-one peep show/sex shops/adult video store–his idea of a romantic night.
  • Places his  hands in his pockets to scratch his balls–a suave move in his book and a head-shaking one in ours.
  • Changes the channel or close the laptop really quickly when he hears footsteps approaching.
  • Hops up off the couch with super fast speed as you walk through the doors to portray that he’s been doing something other than being a lazy ass couch potato .
  • Washes his hands and accidentally splashes water on the lower part of his shirt creating an appearance  that he’s pee’d on himself.
  • Lives vicariously through video games–Madden Superbowl games are taken seriously.  You would think he was personally on the field.
  • Brags about his driving skills when you both know he failed driver’s ed–twice.
  • Offers to baby sit–his own child(ren).
  • Buys a purse out of the truck of a stranger’s car…and then offer it up to his special lady as a birthday present.
  • Tries to wipe with the strands of toilet paper that are glued to the roll.
  • And then refuses to replace the empty toilet paper roll with a new one.

No Bitchin’ For One Day

26 Aug

I tried not bitchin’ for one full day.  And by mid-morning I felt like I was on some type of sabbatical quest to unearth a lost treasure.  It just seemed impossible.  At days end my blood pressure was categorically high, my fuse was short and my patience was worn thin; holding my tongue all day was like eating soup with a fork.  Here’s the background on what inspired my ambitious journey:  I can be seen as an aggressive person, an attribute I actually take pride in.  It’s a great way to weed out the simple-minded people who try to bring weakness into your life.  I consider myself  strong not feeble; mouthy not timid, assertive not passive, confident not self-loathing. So when it was brought to my attention that I push people away with my “hard-to-swallow” personality, I decided to test myself.  Be a tad docile for a day and see where it gets me.  So basically no bitchin’.  (xanax time)

Ok, great here we go:  The morning started off well.  Nothing too overwhelming happened…I mean I could have griped about the toothpaste residue in the bathroom sink, or his drawers on the bathroom floor, or the wet foot prints in front of the shower door– but I didn’t.  I just cleaned up the mess and threw his dirty laundry in the basket.  I could have got started when sweetness demanded I cut the crust off her sandwich–a grievance I guess she’d harbored since the afternoon before when she had to peel off  her own damn crust—*gasps* oh so earth shattering, but I replied with a “yes sweetie”.    Then in my downtime I got on the computer to check out my social networks.  And while I wanted to honestly and bluntly comment on some of the fuckery that I was seeing online, I knew I had an ultimate goal in mind and people who I don’t even care about weren’t going to take my eye off the prize.

And at the end of the day….I wish I could say I felt enlightened, relaxed, overcome with joy, but I didn’t… I felt the effin’ same.  In fact I felt worse, because I couldn’t be who I truly wanted to be.  All of the suppressed bitchin’ created a negative energy field for me.  There’s a reason women like me can’t hold their tongue, we will  freaking stroke out if we did.  I, personally don’t bitch just to bitch, my goal is to make everything better ( isn’t this such a distorted way of thinking).  So much to the dismay of my husband I’m back to the old me and the “no bitchin'” me is long gone.  I’m sure the hubs thought this little experiment was going to last a few days maybe even weeks to which I reply “chilllle please!!”

Happy First Day of First Grade Sweetness

16 Aug

“Mom, I’m not a baby anymore.  My grade has a number now.  I am officially a big kid.”  Spoken like a true scholastic diva.  My baby who’s been by my side 24/7 every 104 days of summer vacation, was sent off to her first day of first grade.  Off to conquer her academics, make new friends and compete to be the number one box topper in her class.  The sending off was bittersweet, I was told my crying and lingering is quite embarrassing,  so her dad escorted her.     She and I have been preparing for this for a couple of weeks now.  She had to have the sparkling pencils with the feathers on the tip.  The paint that offers glitter and pastel colors.  And the hand sanitizer and lotion from victoria’s secret.   I would be remiss if I failed to mention the emphasis that was put on her artsy nail design, wardrobe, jewelry, sandals, backpack and lipgloss shade–all the things that makes back-to-school a fun and entertaining experience for any girl.

I’m sure she can’t wait to play mother hen to the younger kids of school, meet the new teachers and principal and catch up with her old friends.  If she were a beauty queen Miss Congeniality would be her title.  If she were a author Harriet the Spy would be her muse.  And if she were literary character Junie Beatrice Jones would be her personality.  I’m so happy to have such a smart, creative, funny and sassy girl to call my own…she is really a girl after my own heart.  Love you sweetness–Make me proud!!

I had to sneak a little note into her lunch, she read it before she left.  I cried while she read it and she looked at me with this “see this is why you can’t drop me off at school” look.  Man I can’t believe my baby isn’t a baby anymore.

Things I Need In My Life

13 Jul

I’m a high maintenance person.  I’m the first to admit that.  People just don’t understand I’m just very very particular:  I like my iced water with cucumbers in it–it takes tap water to the next level.  When I go to the bank, the teller has to count all my money back to me with all the bills facing the same direction otherwise I may get distracted by one wayward bill and lose track of how much money I’m receiving and she may try to get me for $5–take it from a former bank employee, $5 from a few unknowing customers is a great side hustle (so I heard).   I despise foreign debris in the butter–makes me gag.  I hate when people put their chewed up gum on their plate–makes me puke.  And I hate using the bar of soap after it’s fell on the shower floor–so I just stick to liquid body soap.

After getting into a fuss with the hubs this morning about how controlling I am I thought to myself: I am not controlling, I just know exactly what I want and how I want it.  I am my happiest when things are going according to my plan.   All I’m saying is happy wife equals happy life, so I made him this list of the things I need in my life:

Bacon every morning–cooked on the griddle, not too crispy and not too fatty.  Thick and hearty is always good.  *wink wink*

A lifetime supply of Christian Louboutin pumps–and not every shoe with a red sole is a CL.

A strapless bra that can defy the gods of gravity and actually secure my boobs properly and securely.  We may actually be able to get somewhere on time if I don’t have to jump, wiggle and shimmy them to the right place.

Flat abs–If  you would cash in your sneaker collection, I would be able to afford that Lipo and tummy tuck I’ve been waiting 5 years for.

Your undivided attention–when I’m telling you about today’s episode of Wife Swap, I would appreciate it if you’d put down the Xbox stick for just one moment and express a little interest in me.  Spend time with me.  Spend quality effing time with me.

Take care of yourself–don’t go longer than one week without a hair cut, get a mani and pedi and read a book.  I will never be convinced video games exercise your mind.

Take care of me–take out the trash, take the dogs (and the kids) out of the house, organize my closet like you’ve so neatly organized yours, flush the toilet and lower the toilet seat after EACH use.

Watch HGTV with me–you may feel motivated to hang my pictures and sconces that have been boxed up since we moved a year and a half ago.

Teach me sports–You get so frustrated when I ask about Kobe’s field goals but if you would just explain the game to me.  Ok, who am I kidding nix this one.  You know I’m not interested.

Most importantly, keep being you.  Am I asking for too much with my little list?!?

Rule of Life #908 It’s not about sweeping her off her feet, it’s about sweeping the kitchen floor so she can catch up on Real Housewives.

Update:  His response:   http://chrisbarnett2.wordpress.com/2010/07/13/your-wish-is-my-to-do-list/

Sex and the Busy Mom

23 Jun

I recently read a poll about how seldom moms have sex.  It’s funny because of all the wisdom and suggestions offered at my baby shower I don’t remember anyone telling me about this devious little secret (the next shower I attend, I’m spilling the beans)!  The poll stated moms want to have sex as often as dad, but it often gets pushed aside and forgotten about–pretty depressing, right?  Sadly, I can attest to having a fleeting libido.  But I’m happy to report, my mojo is on a comeback tour.


I was so excited when a couple of my friends told me about the “peak” women experience in their late 20’s into their 30’s. My entire 20’s have been dedicated to being a mom and wife. Which is very important but sometimes we miss out on self and forget about the things that once stimulated our nipples minds and bodies.  I’ll be the first to admit, kids will eff up your sex life.  Personally, I felt abandoned by my libido. Going from multiple times a day to being able to count on one hand how many times in one week had me distraught.  I came to gripes with myself when I sat down and wrote my once rambuctious mojo a letter:


Dear Mo,

I know things haven’t been the same between us lately. I remember when it was all about the ambiance: 112 in the cd player, candles lit, sexy lingerie. Now it’s just “Are we gonna do this or not?”.  Where did we go wrong?  Is it my muffin top?  My thunder thighs?  You know I’ve been working on that for about 6 years now.  Was it the hair cut?  I know you felt like a sex kitten with long hair–I can get a wig!  Was it the lactating boobs?  Hey I had mouths to feed but we’re over that now.  I just want you to come back to me.  As desperate as I sound we really miss you!


Your former bff


I recently had a party with dildos, vibrating panties and oils (oh my).  It was fun and entertaining but it reminded me of how important being uninhibited really is.  And how essential it is to have one-on-one time with the hubs–sans the kids!   Most men take it personally when they experience a plunge in their sex life.  In my experience, it wasn’t about him.  It was about the added responsibilities of keeping up with the kids, the house, the pets, the job.  I think I got my first grey hair 4 years ago, yikes I was only twenty–er–nevermind.  So fellas, if you want to get her in the mood try washing dishes, folding clothes, cooking dinner.  Keep the kids out of the bathroom while mom is in the shower.  Tell her to go out with the girls and take a few shots of grey goose let her hair down!   And you’ll see how fast the lingerie comes out of the closet!

Rule of Life #1104 Bitchin’ aint easy and neither is gettin’ your freak on with a house full of kids!


Some interesting reads:

The Magic Pill That Makes Oral Sex Taste Better

7 Sex Moves to Try in Bed Before You Pop the Female Viagra

My Husband And I Made a Sex Contract

Go Ahead Make His {Father’s} Day

20 Jun

I felt so bad because the hubby got up early this morning to make us breakfast.  So I sent sweetness into the kitchen to help him cook so I could get a few extra minutes of  sleep (what who said moms should be left out of the father’s day equation?).  I joke and call him the best baby’s daddy a babymama could ask for, but we’re more than a ghetto fabulous love story and he’s more than a man for me!  He’s the perfect husband for me and he’s the perfect father for our children.  He makes me want to break out in song and dance *cue the biz markie beat*  “Oh baby yooooou.  yooooou got what I neeeeeddd…”

The girls w/ Papi..the first love of my life

Both of us were raised my our grandfathers because our donors were dead beats. losers. shallow.  unreliable.  creeps.  You could say the morals and values instilled in him by his grandfather and the care and concern instilled in me by my grandfather (photo’d to the right) created the perfect definition of what and how a father should be for his kids.


I may bitch about them and they may ruin my designer shoes (still haven’t gotten over that) but he gave me three of the most adorable munchkins I could ask for! And he provides for us more than we can think or ask… Now that’s a good man…I feel another song coming on *cue salt-n-pepa* “Whatta man whatta man whatta man what a mighty good man”  But seriously.  I know what my kids have is rare and precious especially within the Black community.  But together we are making it and we find solace in our special union we created.

Rule of Life #246 Enjoy each other while you can.  Today is the present–treat it as such.

Father's Day 2010

Father's Day 2010

Father's Day 2010