Venus vs. Mars: What You Won’t Do Another Chick Will Pt I

20 Oct

I don’t ever want to think about what I would do if I ever had to handle infidelity within my marriage.  If history serves me correctly, I tend to get quite psychotic when it comes to my family.  So if there were ever an intruder in my union, please believe she’d be dealt with.  Right after I unleash a WWE style ass kicking on my husband.  My husband and I talk about infidelity once a quarter.  Normally, it’s just a reminder that I’m liable to cause major damage if such a situation arose.

So during our meeting for this quarter he had the audacity to say “Well women won’t have to worry about their men cheating if they are taking care of business.  Nine times out a ten his mistress can teach you something”.  *cue the Xanax-kush-vodka cocktail*  This man has lost his mind!!  But I wanted to indulge him, here’s what he had to say:

“What she’s not willing to do, there’s another woman that’s more than willing.” Whether you want to admit it or not, that saying is 10000% true.  In my opinion, the only way to avoid that other woman is just to do what he asks you to do. As long as he’s willing to fulfill your needs and fantasies, I don’t see a problem with it. If you’re one of those stubborn women that refuse, then chances are that he has a woman on the side that doesn’t have a problem role playing, dressing up, or whatever it is he’s asking you to do. Don’t be mad at him, or her, honestly it’s your fault. You want to know what I would recommend?  What I would recommend doing, take notes from his mistress.  Yes, seriously……take notes. The mistress could suggest a few things that’ll add a firework show to your relationship that you can’t even imagine. Maybe a few things such as:

Role Play – Sometimes we men (at least I have)  dream about getting pulled over by a sexy female cop and getting out of a ticket, or staying after class for some extra credit, etc. There’s nothing wrong with it. It can actually be fun if you get rid of the ‘I’m too good for that’ attitude.   Be that cop, or that teacher for one night and see where it gets you!!!

Get Rid of Those Granny Panties – We don’t want to see that. We grew up wearing tighty whities and granny panties aren’t doing anything except taking us back to our childhood–not where we want to be when it’s time to get it going.  Women know how easily we get excited. Give us something exciting to look at.

Get Those Sexy Underwear and Walk Around Them – This goes back to what I said in the last paragraph. Eye candy is always great! It’s even better because we get to watch you walk that walk that turns us on, hips switching from side to side.

Send Him Naughty Text Messages and Pics – This will keep his mind on you all day.  Things gets bored as hell in that office all day.  Sending him a sexy text message to let him know what to expect after work would put a huge smile on his face! So will sending him a picture of what’s waiting for him after work. On that same note, don’t refrain from continuing any conversation that your text message may start. There’s no point of starting something you’re not willing to finish.

Give Head – Nothing irritates him more than hearing “I don’t feel like it!!” There’s no reason not to. A mistress has NO PROBLEM DOING IT!!! At home, in the kitchen, in the car, at the movies, in the changing room, it doesn’t matter. Just do it!!

Not to say I have a mistress that does this for me–but even if I did–what me and the nanny does is nobody’s business!!!! Anyway ladies, you have 2 options; either keep him happy or learn from your man’s mistress.

While he had some valid points, I smell male dominance all over this piece.  Is this really how our men think of us?  If the woman doesn’t act right on to the next one?! First off, the assertion that a mistress would even be an option speaks to the greed and entitlement men feed into.  Clearly there needs to be two parts to this complex controversy.  Part II coming soon.


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