This Goes Out to the Baby Daddy’s

9 Sep

Someone close to me has a baby’s mama who abides by the trifling baby mama handbook.  You know the rules:

1) Get him for child support

2) Don’t allow him to see the child (despite a court order)

3) Use the child to control  him to do the things that benefit you

This trifling baby mama club is a true sorority and these chicks will have you shocked at their crazy antics.  Here’s the background: they were young and dumb and in lust and not knowing it wasn’t love.  At current they aren’t together and their relationship is a tumultuous one, but he tries to man up to his responsibilities while she tries to thwart any attempts he makes to be a constant figure in his child’s life.  “What kind of woman would do such a thing?” you ask…we all know the importance of a father being in a child’s life–especially a black child.  Not to mention the child is selfishly stripped from experiencing an entire side of her family.  You see, I empathize with the child because my father was missing in action (his choice) but my mother made sure I spent time with my paternal grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins.  Even though he wasn’t there, some of my fondest and most memorable experiences were with them.  To this day I still have a loving and close relationship with my father’s mother.

You would think, only someone of unsound mind would put her child’s necessities last.   Baby mama syndrome runs deep in this chicks blood and you could easily blame it on ignorance and nature.  But she too grew up without a father.  She personally knows and pain that comes with having an absentee father…so why would she resort to perpetuating the vicious cycle?  I’m no therapist but I’ve already diagnosed this chick with a few psychological disorders: pathological liar, multiple personalities, bipolar, narcissism, trichotillomania (I don’t know about this one, that’s just my over-zealous psych 112 from five years ago trying to impress you ).

Here’s my point, I can’t help but to feel pity for men who encounter this problem…wanting to be a positive figure in his child’s life, but are put through the ringer by selfish bitches chicks.  See I can’t even call her a woman, because real women know despite the grief and heartache you may have experienced in your relationship with him, that should never impose on his relationship he has with his child.  Suffice it to say if it there’s violence and abuse that’s another case but that’s not the situation here.  We praise women for putting the ‘S’ on their chest and being baby mama’s (yes thank you Fantasia for the theme song), but we overshadow and negate the efforts and presence of the fathers who are actually there…or at least trying to be.

So this blog does not go out to my baby mama’s ( I was one…until he put a ring on it) this goes out to the baby daddy’s.  Who work hard to (try to) keep up with that child support.  And who picks up an extra job to pay those attorney and court fees where he had to advocate for himself and his paternal rights.  And to those who cherish the time he spends with his little one despite the adversity that may come his way.  Fellas, I hope you all continue to take care of your responsibilities and showcase just how important fatherhood is to you but most importantly to your little one!

//

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2 Responses to “This Goes Out to the Baby Daddy’s”

  1. miniskirtmama September 9, 2010 at 8:34 pm #

    Well said Sister!

  2. Hillerie Camille September 30, 2010 at 5:30 am #

    I know her too.

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