Mojitos for the Potluck

21 Jun

This past week my life has consisted of drama and controversy!  I am ready to tackle it.  Head on, with a martini glass in hand!

I made me a cocktail every night last week after my sweetnesses went to bed.  And then got pissed because I had to wake up at 6:30 am.  Reasoning you ask? What can I say, I have a stressful job!  Not to mention it was just one of those weeks.  Truth be told, all day today I dreamt about happy hour.

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Our grass is growing so high it looks like I’m growing something illegal (I wish) in the backyard.  The man who we hired to cut our grass claims we owe him money, but according to my records he owes us a cut. When it comes to my business, I am a shark!  It’s hard to prove fallacies with me!  So we’re in dispute over who owes who.  Little does he know it’s his loss.  I’ll just find a crackhead to hire in the interim who will do the same job.  Sorry to be so unethical but it’s all about the cheap labor folks!

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My sweetness told me about how her 8-year-old cousin was at day camp pretending to smoke a cigarette.  She demonstrated with her dry erase marker (puffs and all) and I became outraged!

Shouldn’t I be the one breaking in her first smoke?!  I kid.  I kid,  but seriously, I want to be the one to tell her about all the risqué things going on in life!  So I capitalized on the opportunity:

Me: Do you want to be known as the girl who smokes cigarettes with stinky breath and yellow teeth?

Sweetness:  No, eww gross.  Besides I have baby teeth and everyone knows baby teeth don’t turn yellow.  And I’ll just eat a cough drop for my bad breath.  (geez, she’s caught on to my “church breath” cure.  And is she trying to justify smoking?)

Me: (startled she has comebacks, so I have to step my game up) Listen, any kid who thinks smoking is cool will have rotten teeth, bad breath and the tooth fairy will haunt you in your dreams.  You don’t want the tooth fairy to be against you, do you?

Sweetness: (slightly crying) No ma’am.

Me: Well you better not ever smoke!  I mean never!  Ever!

end of discussion. enters dad (the wise  grasshopper of the two) to rectify the situation.

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VBS: Vacation Bible School.  I hate to be the one to admit it but I’m so happy my kids have a place to go after day camp!

Rule of Life #208 Don’t be so serious about stuff.  You’ll miss that the joke is really on you!

Thanks June, the originator and creator!!  What would this potluck be without you?!?!?!

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One Response to “Mojitos for the Potluck”

  1. Texasholly June 23, 2010 at 5:31 pm #

    I need to find a VBS! Genius.

    I have never heard tooth fairy and smoking discussed in the same breath…hahahaha.

    Thanks for potluckin’

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